Starting over – Rant

5524669257_c5eefe7205_oOnce again I find myself starting over.

I’m thankful for the fact that I don’t have to worry about money, health, safety but I can honestly say that I don’t like this feeling since I feel that I should have had this figured out by now. However I’m not even sure what “it” is that that I should have figured out.

I can pretty much do whatever I want, whenever I want. I have an amazing network and people that love me. I have so many opportunities. And yet I feel like I’m waiting for my life to start. I relate very much to what Barry Schwartz covers in his book “The Paradox of Choice” that when you can do anything you are always worried that you’ll end up choosing the wrong thing so its tempting to choose nothing.

And I know that its not like I haven’t done many things. I travel a lot, I work on many interesting projects, I love going out to dinner…but it more like drifting from one thing to the other.

But now I feel like to have come to a real turning point in my life. I was supposed to start a new project this fall and but I had an very disappointing end to that dream. And I think that was good because the danger is to be in a place where everything is very comfortable because that does not require much thinking. But this required me to ask myself “how do I want my life to look like”. I had come back from a nice trip to Spain and when I had landed the weather was gray and dull here in the Netherlands and that made me think “why did I come back in the fall? Why am I not creating a life where I can be location independent and work where the weather is nice?”

So now I’m studying how that will work out and I invite the world to follow up on me by making this public. And I got the go ahead from my family as well. In many ways I think that I have been hiding behind the fact that since they have not been super interested then I’m not going to do anything about this…BUT when I did talk about it I was told “You know that we are ok with this idea. You just just can’t expect us to drop everything and turn into cheerleaders. You just have to do what you have to do to prove that this can work, and then, and only then, will we follow you. Wherever that will be.”

Wow, and now I’m without excuses. No one is holding me back. No one, except me. So lets get started.




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